Firstly, I don't know wheather I should keep this blog bc I dont think that anyone read or even has read this blog. I'd like to meet some ppl just to talk. I've met some guy on skype and i got to know him. He's kinda decent. I think he's the only one, who I can talk abt my problems with. Its unbelievably weird how distance between ppl meat on the internet differs from the real one. Its possitive :)
Anyway, I gave up purging and started overeating, starving myself and overeating again. Vicious circle, as always. I can't help thinking abt perfect body. Im frustrated that I cant vomit, I just cant do that. I feel so weak that I dont even try. I seem that I dont give a fuck but Im dying inside. I wish I could cut down on eating, specially loads of sweets. This day wont come. Im convienced. Sad truth.
Btw, I was so fulfilled when my stomach was so flat. I really felt better when I wasnt eating. Sadly, it couldnt last forever.
I hope someday I'll be strong enough to take a risk and challenge again..
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