Have enough gas

Ok, so i didn't eat 2day. I'm so proud of myself. Stopping this yelling shit in my head isn't one of the easiest thing. But I dealt with it. I think because I still have a lot of energy that comes from yesterday's binge. I have a lot on my mind so I must go. x

Can't get through

Today is my 6th day of Giovanni's. And today I failed again :] I was fighting all day long, eating apples and other stuff and accidentally something broke. I didnt give a fuck and started eating. Yeast cake made by my mom, vanilla pudding, Nutella straight from the jar, Toffifee with golden syrup and grilled cheese sandwiches with mayo and ketchup dip. I tried to vomit but I can't. I'm so weak that I can't even throw this shit up. I'm dissapointed and frustrated. I just wanted to go through this whole diet without any misfortunes. I had an aim; appointed award. Nothing goes my way. I'm gonna try 2 puke again.

Enter my world

This is my first post on my first blog ever. Yes! I’m 17 and I’ve never  had a blog. Umm I don’t know what to write. Maybe I’ll introduce myself. I’m 17 yo boy who looks proper at the first sight but no one knows how it really is. How I really feel.  Firstly I’d like u 2 know that I’m not from pro-ana/pro-mia team. Maybe I’m not so strong, maybe I don’t wanna.  The one I know is that something is wrong with me and my lifestyle, I mean with eating. I think I have an eating disorder. It started 1 year ago when I came to HS. I always liked eating but something changed. I found baking (especially) enjoyable. I love trying new recipes and preaparing never tried dishes. But I have this huge thing for sweets. I fantasize about chocolate cakes, cute cupcakes with colorful icings and other pastries. Am I weird? I don't think other ppl do the same. Food is food, can b good, bad, tasty, tasteless. I always wanted 2 b thin, but i went on my first diet 1 year ago and this is how my problems begun. I weighed 128 lbs (I'm 5'10 tall). After this tiring period I gained 9lbs! I was frustrated. Let's cut to the chase. I'm don't search anyone to help me quit it, I just want to share my experiences with ppl. I'm on a diet again. Giovanni's 30. It's my 5th day (repeated 4th time) I've been failing it for 3 days. I hope I'll do it well this time :)