fed up

I'm fed up with this fucking life. I'm doing my math homework as a practice for tomorrow's test. My dad's just entered my room and told me to go to bed bc it is late. Geeeeeeeeez! He says it every fucking day. Its so annoying and boring. Is this everything what he can say? Routine is killin' me. I hope the 2012 is not a hoax.

stuffed

I dont care what I throw into my stomach but I dont feel well now. I'd like to vomit so badly.. After eating 3 donuts, a lot of strawberry ice-cream and grilled cheese sandwiches I feel like a stuffed turkey for a thanksgiving day.


Jon Kortajarena in the pictures!!!

come back?

Hey (guys?)
Firstly, I don't know wheather I should keep this blog bc I dont think that anyone read or even has read this blog. I'd like to meet some ppl just to talk. I've met some guy on skype and i got to know him. He's kinda decent. I think he's the only one, who I can talk abt my problems with. Its unbelievably weird how distance between ppl meat on the internet differs from the real one. Its possitive :)

Anyway, I gave up purging and started overeating, starving myself and overeating again. Vicious circle, as always. I can't help thinking abt perfect body. Im frustrated that I cant vomit, I just cant do that. I feel so weak that I dont even try. I seem that I dont give a fuck but Im dying inside. I wish I could cut down on eating, specially loads of sweets. This day wont come. Im convienced. Sad truth.
Btw, I was so fulfilled when my stomach was so flat. I really felt better when I wasnt eating. Sadly, it couldnt last forever.

I hope someday I'll be strong enough to take a risk and challenge again..