Fucking Anorexic Troubles

As you can observe I act like I don't care. And I'm scared this's true. My life has become a monotonus routine. Everyday I binge eat in the same way. Pasta, muffins and buns with Nutella. Wth? The difference is that the flavour of the muffins is different each day. And the worst is I can't even purge because house is full of ppl >.< I don't know what to do. I have a really bad mood since yesterday. Feel everything depends on me and it's frustrating. Nothing can help  me, neither thinspo nor f tv until I think ' perfect body is amazing but can't replace this sweet muffin'. Should I give up or try harder to pass on the chocoalte cake and continue my 'diet'?

mmm muffn top, I'll have that if I don't stop eating